When they say, “Well, then you clearly don’t love your child”.

I have to start honestly in sharing this particular post….I’ve written it and re-written it several times because to some, reading this is going to feel controversial.  I am always worried about openly sharing my thoughts and feelings because of the risk of being seen as “crazy” but, of course, (lol) I don’t think I am.  And again, what exactly is the point of me having this blog to share on if I’m not myself in sharing….even if my own beliefs contradict with others, which they undoubtedly will.  But nothing is wrong with a little controversy, it’s brought us throughout history, to wonderful places.


A few weeks ago I found myself in the doctor’s office with my 15 month old daughter for yet again another daycare acquired illness of double pink eye….and it turns out a double ear infection.

She’s always bringing home something, and I have always tackled whatever it is she contracts with a more natural minded approach using things like essential oils, colloidal silver, and elderberry syrup to name a few.  It’s not that I’m against medicine, I just prefer to try and support our family health using things found in nature rather than things made in a lab first.  I believe in the body’s ability to put that immune system God gave us to good use and make it stronger.  Anyway..

My doctor gives us two prescriptions, one for a pink eye antibiotic drop and the other and antibiotic for her ear infections. Well, my daughter has had two ear infections prior to this one, and I’ve never used antibiotics to cure her of them.

Also, if you don’t know much about antibiotics, there is a lot of reputable research out there arguing that they often times do more harm than good (stay with me here) because they are prescribed when they don’t truly truly need** to be.  The key word here is need.  They kill ALL the bacteria in our gut, which is like the hub for our immune system.  They kill the bad and the good bacteria.

Some people have found themselves doing multiple rounds of antibiotics, even getting shots of the stuff.  Well, that’s because invasive “bad” bacteria have evolved just like we have.  They can recognize that antibiotic and some have become resistant to them, causing doctors to prescribe more and more different types, hoping they can kill off whatever is making us sick.  Well, our illnesses have become these monster cockroaches so to speak.  They just won’t die as easily anymore and when the bacteria or virus comes back, it’s usually with a vengeance. That’s because the strong bacteria (monster cockroaches) that have survived the first round, and now have made a small army of other strong resistant bacteria (more monster cockroaches) just like them.  You get the picture.

Before I go any further let me make it very clear that I think modern medicine can be wonderful….it can be lifesaving…an amazing feat for many.  I place a HIGH value in trained medical professionals that can teach me things and care for my family in ways that I never could.  That being said, I also think medicine is way overused, over prescribed, and under minded in it’s impacts.  Our young children are prescribed everything under the sun today, and I believe we’re often setting them up unknowingly for a lifetime full of a compromised immune system.  And this is to no fault of parents.  When you doctor says “well they have this, so here, take this.” you don’t really second guess it much do you? It would seem that a doctor would never prescribe a medicine unless my child needed it right?  And to be fair, it’s also not always tot he fault of the doctor with the way liability works these days.

I think a shift of knowledge and perspective is happening among moms contradicting this fallacy.  The fallacy being: That our kids always need medicine.  What is making us so darn afraid to have a cold for a bit?  Now I’m not saying, “Your child is sick? Aww let em ride it out!” no ma’am. I’m saying….(and this is extremely important here): Do read up on extensive evidence based research, collaborate with your doctor, and explore all the best options and alternative you have at your disposal for your families care.  There’s a much bigger shift in general in regards to health, what we put in and on our bodies, etc…but that’s for a whole other blog post.

SO. Back to the double ear and eye infections.

My doctor is aware I’ve skipped out on the antibiotics he’s prescribed me twice before…but this time he apparently felt differently.  I told him (let me add…very nicely…mildly even.  I’m not confrontational in my approach to medicine) that he probably already knew I would be trying some other ways to rid her of these infections rather than giving her antibiotics. He looked at me and replied that “he agreed antibiotics weren’t always the answer, and he doesn’t like to prescribe them when they are not necessary, but that this time they were.”  He said on a scale on 1-10 with 10 being the WORST, her ear infections are about a 6.  “This is a time for antibiotics.” I smiled at him and said he could send the prescription but, like I said before, I will be diligent in my own methods to make her well and bring her in soon to make sure things don’t escalate into a worsening situation.

The response I got was….

“Well, then you clearly don’t love her”.

The conversation had some other turns, but ultimately I left the office in tears, holding the child that my doctor just told me I clearly didn’t love, when I clearly did. More than that doctor would ever even begin to know.

And if you were curious about her pink eye and ear infections……well I got rid of all of it in three days without a drop of “medicine”.  We brought her to a check up with our new  doctor (yes we made a swift change in pediatricians).  The response I got after her ear inspection 3 days from the previous upsetting visit was quote “her ears are perfect”.

From one momma to another, please please please never accept this type of rhetoric from anyone, especially not from a medical provider that you look to for trust and guidance in your child’s health.  Of course I had great confidence that no one doubted the love for my daughter, but it was upsetting (more than one would expect) to hear this said to me by my medical professional.  All because I had a non-traditional view on healing?

I’ve actually found this animosity to be a more common theme in the medical world…but not exclusively. Moms looking to turn to alternative ways to care for their children might find this somewhat familiar….eye rolls from friends and family at your choices, judgement that you stray from the pack, and even bullying into joining the parenting trends that are more accepted (and if I’m being transparent, also more solidified in widely available research).

What I’m here to tell you, momma, is that YOU are powerful, YOU are strong, and YOU can make wonderful, healthy, alternative, natural decisions for your child and can do so proudly if you choose. Don’t let the less taken path of parenthood scare you! You might find that it shows you incredible revelations through your family by God’s hand you would have never known otherwise. 🙂

Sometimes it’s easy for another professional to put doubt in our ears, make us think our own parenting instincts are wrong.  My question to you is, since when did parents become total morons who know nothing about their children’s health? Why do we have no say or input into their care? *** I’m not saying we are the medical experts in ANY way, we should always effectively collaborate and utilize the incredible doctors that exist out there.***  What I am saying is that no one knows your child like you do and if your instincts are leading you somewhere nontraditional…it’s okay to explore that safely…and to ask your doctor to support you in doing so.

The truth is that we DO have valuable input into the care of their health. All we have to do is stand up for it when appropriate and believe that God designed us so beautifully. He MADE us to heal, to become stronger after healing.  Our bodies are so compatible with nature when we use the tools he gave us originally in the garden to naturally support all of our body systems. It really is incredible when you see it at work.

So don’t be afraid momma.  You’re more powerful, brave, and wise than you know,

and I know, that you “clearly”,

love your child.










Coker, Tumaini R. et al. Diagnosis, Microbial Epidemiology, and Antibiotic Treatment of Acute Otitis Media in Children: A Systematic Review. JAMA. 2010;304(19):2161-2169.
Cummings, Stephen and Dana Ullman. Everybody’s Guide to Homeopathic Medicines. Penguin, New York, 1997.
Frei H, Thurneysen A. Homeopathy in Acute Otitis Media in Children: Treatment Effect or Spontaneous Resolution? British Homeopathic Journal, 2001, Oct, 90, 4, 180-2.
Friese KH, Kruse S, Ludtke R, Moeller H. The Homoeopathic Treatment of Otitis Media in Children. International Journal of Clinical Pharmacology and Therapeutics, 35, 7, 1997, 96-301.




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